WTF! Fairy Tales? Seriously?
by Loveisamysterybutwhy
Summary: I don't own anything. Fairy tales with the GX twist. Chapter 5: "How the Hermit helped to win the King's Daughter" except the hermit is Yubel and the king is Sho, I know, and the daughter is Judai BUT HE'S A GUY !
1. Yuki Judai and the Seven Dwarfs

Okay! So, I have a few author notes that helps the story go along.

1) Yuki means snow and Judai means teen or teens just so you know. The reason why I'm using 'Yuki Judai' is that since yuki equals snow, I thought it would be most appropriate for Snow White…

2) Everybody else has their English names because on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays, I like their English names.

3) Oh I forgot, in this story it's Johan not Jesse because JudaixJohan, not JudaixJesse!

That is all

* * *

Some of you may know the story of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs… Those who don't, I will tell you the story, however you ain't gettin' the real story because this is Yuki Judai and the Seven Dwarfs who have little screen time and have little effect on the plot.

Once upon a time, there was a queen who would one-day thought that it would be lovely to give birth to a son or daughter. So, with that in mind, nine months later, she gave birth to a little boy who had nothing to do with snow, was as cute as heck, and had two-toned hair. She was so amazed by his cuteness that she named her handsome son, Yuki Judai.

Unfortunately the queen died and in a year, her husband married again to a woman who was beautiful, but proud and conceited. She also had a magic mirror that always told her the truth whenever she asked a question; so she would ask the mirror and it would reply, "You are, my queen."

Yuki Judai grew up and became more beautiful (doesn't make sense, I know) than the queen herself. The mirror even told the queen that Yuki Judai was a thousand times fairer than the queen would ever be and this made her very jealous. So, the queen ordered for Yuki Judai to be killed in the forest, but the man had pity on him and left him there in the forest.

Yuki Judai ran through the forest for hours trying to find the way to get home, but he never found his way back. Later (seven days) he found himself at a cottage in the forest.

And we now take you there live.

"Eh? A cottage in the middle of the forest? That's weird." He pondered it for a while, which wasn't a long time.

"Oh well! It can't hurt to go inside because I don't know who lives there!" (Seriously…)

Anyways, he walked inside and what he saw was little beds, chairs, and clothing that looked like they were for little kids, very messy little kids. Everything was dirty, the windows, the floor, the dishes, so Yuki Judai started cleaning with two random animals that followed him to the cottage; Kuriboh and Ruby.

After a couple of hours, the cottage was finally clean.

"Yay! We're finally done strange creatures that stalked me on the way to this random cottage in the middle of the forest!" He yawned loudly, then said, "I think I'm going to take a nap…" very sleepily. So, he laid down on one of the little beds.

When Yuki Judai awoke, there were seven dwarfs all around him.

"What's up dudes?" he said causally.

"The ceiling. Who the fuck are you and why are you sleeping in my bed?" said one of the dwarfs, very grumpily.

"Ignore Chazz A.K.A. Grumpy! Who are you? We've never met a human boy before!" said a very cheerful dwarf.

"My name is Yuki Judai. My psycho mother wants to kill me. You are?" he said happily too.

"I'm Atticus A.K.A. Happy!" said the cheerful one. Then he pointed out to the dwarfs when he said their names. "This is Aster A.K.A. Sleepy. This is Syrus A.K.A. Dopy. And this is Bastion A.K.A. Doc (NERD!)" In the background, Bastion was yelling at Atticus that being smart had nothing to do with being a nerd. "This is Chumbly A.K.A. Sneezy!(sp?) Finally, that is Zane A.K.A. Bashful."

"You're mother must have hated you guys. Those are lame names!"

"Whatever…" said Aster sleepily.

"Anyways, you're in a lot of trouble!" said Chazz.

"What, why?" Yuki Judai yelled.

"Because you broke into our house you bastard!" yelled Chazz.

"Though you did manage to clean our cottage…" said Bastion. "How about this! You can stay here and hide from your mother and we'll forget about you breaking in to our home if you clean it once and a while!"

"Uh…" said Yuki Judai. "Hell no! I'm not living in a cottage in the middle of a deep forest with seven guys who never been with a woman before!"

"Ah, touché, touché," said Syrus.

"Bye!" Yuki Judai got up and started to leave.

"You can have all the food you can eat…" said Bastion, already figuring out his weakness because he did not want to clean.

Yuki Judai stopped right in his tracts and said, "All?" They all nodded, and those dwarfs don't know what kind of deal they got into.

When the servant (the man who was suppose to kill Yuki Judai) returned, the queen ran up to him and asked if the job was done, and he told her that he had indeed killed him.  
The next morning, the queen went up to her magic mirror and asked, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who _is_ the fairest of them all?" and the mirror replied, you are my queen but, Yuki Judai is a thousand times prettier. The queen was in rage, because she knew that the mirror did not lie.

So the next morning, the queen dressed up like an old lady and went down to the forest looking for Yuki Judai and the queen found him. She approached Yuki Judai and offered him an apple. Yuki Judai refused but the old lady insisted.

"Dude! Back up psycho lady! I don't want your freaky apple!" he said.

"But kind sir! Please take the apple! I've grown these apples myself and I wish to know how it tastes! You see, I would taste it myself, but I can't eat any solid foods. Please?"

"No, you weird old hag!"

After a few hours of bickering, Yuki Judai took the apple and bit into it. Within minutes Yuki Judai had fell into coma. The queen ran in franticly with a smirk on her face.  
On the dwarfs' way back from work, they saw Yuki Judai passed out on the ground. They rushed him back to the cottage, where they tried to revive him but it did not work. The dwarfs were determined to let their friend be buried with class. So they got a glass coffin and placed him in it and took him to the prettiest part of the forest were they put him to rest.  
One day, a (fabulous) prince happened to ride through the forest, on a mission to promote more frills for the people, noticed Yuki Judai in his coffin. He was so amazed by how handsome he was that the prince got a nosebleed. Therefore, he decided to take his coffin with him.

The prince ordered his servants to take his coffin with them. On the way, one of his servants tripped and the jolt caused the glass case to open, and caused Yuki Judai to slip out.

'Damn he looks so hot!' the prince thought. 'I just want to kiss him!'

"Everybody leave… now," he said.

"But your sire-"

"LEAVE I SAID!"

After everyone left, the perverted prince, called Johan (no surprise there), kissed Yuki Judai on the lips "tenderly." And then, Yuki Judai woke up…

Yuki Judai screamed and punched him in the jaw.

"What the hell! I'm not a gay!" he said to the prince.

"A gay?" he questioned. "What does- ah never mind. So? That doesn't stop you from being so sex-hey and neither does it make me stop wanting to molest you," he said cheekily.

"Ah, touché, touché …"

Consequently, while they were making-out/molesting each other, the queen died from frill overload and every one lived happily ever after.

* * *

What? Did you actually believe that I would stick with the original story plot?


	2. PocaJaden and Jesse Smith

Ah, the second chapter. Did you actually make it this far? Well...

Can't you feel the trees blowing? Can't you feel like you can paint with all the colors of the wind? Can't you feel like this is going nowhere? Because it is!

This is the story of Pocahontas, but too bad that it won't follow the story plot just like the last story! This is the story of a young boy called Poca-Jaden and his two friends Ruby the raccoon and Kuriboh the hummingbird that really don't show up in the story. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Poca-Jaden! Poca-Jaden! It's time to go back! Come down from that cliff!" yelled Poca-Jaden's friend, Alexis at the bottom of the cliff in a boat in the river.

"Okay!" Poca-Jaden yells at his friend and jumps off the cliff and into the water.

"Not like that you idiot!" she yelled at the water. "Poca-Jaden! Come on! We have to go! Where are you?"

Poca-Jaden rose slowly above the water on the other side of the boat and thought it would be funny if he tipped the boat over. So he did.

"AH! Poca-Jaden! What the heck is your problem?" Alexis said when she caught her breath.

"Ahahaha! You wanted me to come down from the cliff so I did!" he said happily.

"Yes, but not that way and I didn't want you to tip the boat!"

"You're a fun-sucker!" Poca-Jaden pouted.

"Whatever. Hey, where is Ruby and Kuriboh?" Alexis asked.

"Who cares? Let's go!"

They got back onto the boat and paddled away, leaving Ruby and Kuriboh alone on the cliff.

"Ah! Poca-Jaden! Alexis! You're back! Just in time to celebrate the return of the warriors and Aster (Kocoum, Pocahontas's finance)!" said Poca-Jaden's father. Alexis left to assist the other part of the tribe to prepare for the warriors' arrival.

"Poca-Jaden, come with me. I have something to tell you," said his father. He followed him inside the main hut and sat down. "Poca-Jaden, as you know, once a year there is one straight marriage that is not against their will."

"And that's relevant to …what?" he asked confused.

"Aster has asked your hand in marriage and I have accepted it."

"But I don't love him!"

"Yes, but to make the plot roll along, you have to marry him, unless some foreigners come along and disrupt our ways of life. But that's so unbelievable so you're going to get married," he said seriously.

Poca-Jaden ran out of the hut in frustration. He couldn't believe that he had to marry someone who says the word destiny every two seconds!

"Grandmother Willow? Grandmother Willow? Are you there?" Poca-Jaden said to an old willow tree who was right on the water.

"Yes my child. I am here. What is troubling you?" said the tree. "And why are you calling me Grandmother Willow? I'm not that old and my name is Yubel!"

"Yes, but Grandmother Willow sounds less demonic. Anyways! My father just told me that I have to marry Aster," he said gloomy.

"That weird warrior who says destiny ever two seconds?" she asked.

"Yeah. What should I do?"

"Well, the plot is going nowhere right now so all you can do is marry him, unless you want to climb a tree and look at the ocean for no reason."

"I think I climb a tree." So he started climbing Grandmother Willow though she said in the background that she didn't mean to climb on her.

"Oh my god! Look!" said Poca-Jaden.

"I can't. I'm a tree smart-ass!" she yelled at him.

"There are two very big clouds moving towards us!" he said ignoring her.

"Those aren't clouds, they're sails. Go child, go see who they are. I'm pretty sure you won't get raped or killed by foreign men who haven't seen a woman because they've been on a ship for months!" Seriously…

"Okay," he said happily. "Hey where have you two been?" he said to Kuriboh and Ruby. "Whatever let's go!"

* * *

At the shore

* * *

"Okay men, this place must be loaded with gold because it's logical! So everybody grab shovels and start digging, and sing a song because I'm very bored! I would help you dig, but I'm too rich to do it!" said Chazz.

"But sir!" said Syrus, "We don't know any songs because the writer is writing form memory and forgot what song we sang in the movie! The only song she can remember is Can You Paint with All the Colors of the Wind? And that song is not sung by us!"

"Then sing Hero's Come Back from Naruto Shippuuden! I love that series!" he said very psychotically.

So while they were singing Hero's Come Back, one of the men snuck off and went to explore. Guess who it is. JESSE!

"I wonder what kind of resources are here. Maybe they invented a new form of frills here. This is so cool," he said sitting on a tree branch really, really high up off the ground. "I feel so giddy."

"Woah!" he said when a creature approached him. "Hey there little guy," he said to Ruby. "Do you know what kind of resources are here? Possibly a hot man… or woman… or man?"

She (I always thought Ruby was a girl) looked at him then started digging through his bag.

"Hey! You thief! Give that back!" he said as Ruby stole a compass.

Jesse chased Ruby until he accidentally knocked into Poca-Jaden.

"Ow," said Jesse. "Cool! A Native American! How do you do? Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Damn not another Brit. (I have nothing against them!) My name is Poca-Jaden! What's yours limey?" (No offence!)

"My name is Jesse! Isn't it weird that we can understand each other? Hahahahaha… ha."

"Yep! It is. Well, I must go now to marry a guy who says destiny every two seconds! Bye!" he said as he started to leave.

"Wait!" said Jesse as he grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"What?"

"You mean a man can marry another man here?"

"Well, yeah."

"Yes! I'm finally accepted! And people will understand my frills too!" Jesse said happily.

"Okay homo. Can you let me go now?" he said in monotone.

"Sure! Goodbye!" he said as he left.

"Damn British."

"Where is Poca-Jaden?" said his father.

"We do not know chief!" said the villagers.

"Here I am!" said Poca-Jaden as he popped up out of nowhere.

"Poca-Jaden! I'm glad you're here! It's not safe outside the village anymore! There are weird men who sing foreign songs about a hero coming back!" said his father.

"Cool! I mean… cool!"

"Besides, you are about to get married to Aster tomorrow!"

"Aw! That's gay!" he protested.

"Yes, it is a gay wedding! Now go to your hut."

So Poca-Jaden left, but instead of going to his hut thing, he left the village because he has ADHD and can't stay in one place for too long.

On the way to where ever Poca-Jaden was going, he ran into Jesse.

"Oops, sorry bro!"

"Oh, hey Poca-Jaden! Where are you going?" Jesse asked concerned.

"I don't know! Just, somewhere away from my village!"

So as those two talked about their life because it's polite to talk to foreign strangers, they did not notice that Aster was hiding in the bushes watching them, and opposite of him was Syrus and a few other men.

Aster got super jealous because destiny said it was _them_ that were supposed to be together! So Aster came out of the bushes with a random club and was about to attack Jesse, but Syrus (OMG!) shot Aster.

"Oops! Sorry!" he yelled.

"Oh well, I didn't want to marry him anyways," said Poca-Jaden.

"Okay then. Jesse! Grab your life partner and let's get the hell out of here before a bunch of enraged Indians come!"

"Hey, we're Native Americans!" Jaden yelled. "And I'm not a gay!"

"Wait, a gay? Déjà vu," he said. "Never mind. Okay, let's go!" Jesse picked up Poca-Jaden bridal style and ran off with the men. And a day later they left the continent after they killed Chazz because he was too annoying. In addition, they lived happily ever after, where society didn't question Jesse's frills or Jaden's skin… or sexuality.

* * *

Plot, what plot?

Next Chapter Cinder-Jesse!


	3. Cinder Jesse and the gay Prince Jaden

Wow. People actually like my story… Well, there was one person who (somewhat) helped me with the story. So I guess I should give credit to her… Thank you _Youko Yugi_… for all of your… inspiring… help…. It burns to show affection! All I see is pain! (Black abyss)

So…I guess... you should read the story or something? Oh and by the way. I didn't try hard on this one. However, it wasn't like I tried hard on the other two either.

* * *

"JESSE! Come here!" yelled his stepmother, Jim. (Don't ask how it's possible!)

"Yes stepmother. I'm coming," he yelled back. Poor, poor Jesse. His life was so miserable and it wasn't because his stepmother was a guy! So let's back this story up so you readers can figure out what's wrong with the poor guy.

Actually I don't feel like putting a flashback here so tough luck!

"JESSE! Come here now!" yelled Jim louder. "So help me Karin, I will put you in the basement!" Jesse picked up his pace to the foyer where his stepmother and two stepsisters were.

"Finally slacker! What took you so long?" said the taller stepsister, Chazz.

"I'm sorry. Is there something you guys, I mean girls needed?"

"Yes! We need you to clean the house today and it has to be very sparkly!" said the other stepsister, Syrus… yeah, you read it right….

"Yes, exactly what Syrus said. Now, if you don't have it nice and spotless, you know what will happen to you. Just like last time," said Jim as they left the house.

"Last time? What last time? Is he, I mean she, saying stuff to spice up the plot again?" he wondered. "Ah well. I better get cleaning…"

"Rubi, rubi!" said a small mouse that was purple and had two tails. (I know, WTF?)

"Great more mice following me around," he whined as the mouse and others followed him around as he cleaned the house from top to bottom.

"I wonder what Disney song the author can remember to help the story plot go along and so I can get my work done faster," he said to nobody in particular. Well to bad Jesse! I can't remember any!

"You suck! You're a bad author!" he yelled into the open room, making all the mice watching him back away at his craziness.

"Hey! I'm not crazy!" he yelled. "Hahahaha… ha." Yes, that maybe true but I control this story right now. Haven't you ever wondered why you're playing a chick instead of Prince Charming in this story?

Jesse stayed silent at me… I mean he stayed silent while he worked.

After cleaning about half the house with no Disney song, the town's bell rang; signaling that is was finally lunch. However, that didn't mean he got to eat first. He had to feed his stepmother's cat, Zane.

"Zane! Come here you fat, lazy cat!" Jesse called from the kitchen. Shortly after a fat, (fluffy) white cat appeared, taking his time to arrive at Jesse's feet to receive his lunch.

"Gods, I hate this cat!" he said as he put the cat food on the floor in front of Zane.

"Well, I hate you too," meowed Zane before he started eating his food.

Jesse then quickly ate his lunch and went back to cleaning the house and after he was done, he went to do his other chores: chopping wood, preparing dinner, etc.

Jim, Chazz, and Syrus finally came back, though they didn't like what they saw.

"Jesse!" said Jim harshly."I thought I told you to clean the house!"

"I did!" said Jesse, wondering what they were talking about.

"No it isn't! Go back and clean it again! After all, cleanliness is next to godliness and so are royalty! You don't want one of my daughters to stay poor all of her life, now do you?"

"But they're guys- "

"Got back and clean it Cinder-Jesse!" yelled Chazz giving him a new nickname since he thought it was appropriate because Jesse sleeps in the basement next to the fire place and when he wakes up, he's usually covered in cinder from it.

"Yes stepmother…" Jesse left to clean the house once again.

"Kuri, kuri!" squeaked a small brown mouse with white on his back that looked like wings.

"Where do these mice keep coming from?" groaned Jesse as he scrubbed harder at the floor.

Afterward to move the plot along, again, the door bell rang. Jesse got up an answered it.

"Hello sir, this is an invitation to the royal ball. Hope you will be there, blah, blah, blah," said a royal messenger apathetically before he left

"Mother! Jesse stealing mail!" yelled Syrus as he I mean she saw Jesse with the letter in his hands.

"No I'm not!" he said.

"Jesse! Give me that letter!" said Jim as she I mean he I mean she walked in and took the letter away anyways.

"What does it say mother?" said Chazz.

"The Prince is having a ball to find a bride! Girls this is your chance! You have a chance of marring the Prince!" said the stepmother happily.

"I thought the prince wasn't gay," mumbled Jesse.

"Yeah he isn't! So you can't come!" said Jim in a manly voice. Jesse sweat dropped but thought no more of it and went back to cleaning.

* * *

24 HOURS LATER!

* * *

Jesse was in his room, slacking off for a moment while the rest of his family got ready for the ball. After they left, Jesse went outside and sighed to himself.

Then all of a sudden, a drunken lady comes out of nowhere.

"Man! Hangover!" she said clutching her head.

"Uh, can I help you?" asked Jesse.

"Yeah, I needs to find this kid call Jesse," she slurred around.

"Um, I'm Jesse. Who are you?"

"I'm Alexis, your fairy godmother," she said.

"Yeah. Now let's get you some help crazy lady," he said not believing in a word she said.

"No I really am. I'm here to give you a dress or something so you can go to the ball!" she said as though she suddenly got rid of her hangover.

"Okay, one, I'm a guy! So unlike my 'sisters' I don't wear dresses…sometimes. And two, the prince isn't gay, so it would be pointless to go!"

"Oh yes he is! The prince is gayer than New York's Gay Parade! And you are so going!" she said trying to reassure him, which wasn't working.

"Look, I'm not going."

"How about if I told you that there are no creepy mutant mice at the ball?" she whispered in his ear with a drunken slur.

Jesse glanced back at the house and saw the creepy mice waving at him through the window.

"Okay, I'll go."

"COOL! Okay, so what do you want to wear?" she asked him.

"Um…"

"Too late! You're wearing this!" She summoned up a very bright blue dress with FRILLS LOTS AND LOTS OF FRILLS!

"Cool!" he said seeing the frills. "For some reason the beauty of the frills makes me want to wear them more, no matter what. And I want to travel to promote frills to the people. Wait, it doesn't come with more frills?"

"No, and now for your shoes." She summoned up two glass slippers.

"No way! I'm not wearing glass stilettos! Those are going to kill my feet!" he yelled at her.

"Hey, it's either these, a glass bra, or a glass thong!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Well, I have a brother called Atticus- "

"Just give me the damn glass slippers!"

* * *

AT THE BALL

* * *

"Jaden my boy! Have you seen a girl you would like to marry yet?" said Jaden's father, Yubel.

"No, I haven't. All of them are girls!" he said in a whiny voice. "Geez."

"Well, no, look over there, those people are guys!" Yubel said.

"I know, but they think they're girls! Oh wow! Look!" he said pointing to the doors as Jesse walked in with a very bright blue frilly dress with glass slippers… and buff arms.

"Oh my gods! He's beautiful!" said Jaden. He got up from his thrown and went to go and greet her I mean him.

"Hello beautiful!" growled playfully at Jesse.

"Hey beautiful yourself," he said back checking Jaden out.

"I can't believe a gay is interested in me too. Wanna marry me?"

"Sure, wait, a gay? What do you mean by that?"

"So is that a yes?"

"Well… do you have any mutant mice?"

"No…"

"Then yes!"

Thus, they danced the night away while people watched in awe because they still couldn't believe that their prince was gay and he chose a man in a frilly dress. Seriously…

Oh and Jim, Chazz, and Syrus are now somewhere far away because I said so and I don't want them to rain on the two gayest pairing on earth…

The End.


	4. Beauty and the Johan

This story was a request from _GoddessOfPhantoms_. Sorry, I do a first request, first serve served kind of thing.

Thank you for all your reviews!

* * *

Once upon a time, a rich merchant lived in the city called Paris, but it wasn't in France. He lived with his two daughters and his only son (who looked like a chick anyways). The boy's name was Judai for being lovely and pure at the heart (his mother was hitting the booze too much to think that his name meant that). The merchant eventually lost his wealth and him and his two daughters and one son had to move to the edge of Paris in the rural area.

Years later, the merchant hears about one of the trade ships that he had sent himself had arrived in port, having escaped the destruction of it compatriots. Therefore, he returned to the city to find if it has any value left. Before leaving, he asked his children what it was that they desired when he returned. His two daughters asked for dresses and jewelry, thinking that his wealth has returned. Judai, however, had a very peculiar request.

"I always wanted a portrait of myself. If you find an artist, can you have him draw my picture?"

During his return, the merchant becomes lost in the Forest of Yubel, otherwise known as the Forest of Lost Souls. Seeking shelter, he enters to what seemed like an abandoned castle. Soon he finds out that it was not. He finds tables laden with water and jumbo fried shrimp, which apparently been left for him by the castle's owner.

The merchant accepts this gift and was about to leave when he sees a beautiful portrait of his son. Though he wondered what it was doing here, he took the picture out of its frame, rolled it up, and left. But before he had a chance to leave the castle ground, he is confronted by a beastly looking creature.

"I have given you hospitality by giving you food and drink, but now you must stay here my prisoner forever for taking my most prized possession!"

The merchant begged the beast to be set free; arguing that he had only took the picture because his son had requested a picture of himself. The beast frowned deeply.

"What do you mean requested a picture of him? I had taken this photo from a passing person in payment for spending one night here. I thought this portrait was over 100 years old."

"No, no, this is my son! He looks exactly like him!"

"Then I will let you go—"

"Oh thank you! Thank you!"

"—Only if you will send your son to live in the castle in your place."

"Please! You can't do that! He is my only son!"

"Then you will stay in this castle forever."

The beast tugged him off his horse and in a second's time, the merchant was thrown in the dungeon's cell. The beast was about to leave when the merchant agreed. The beast smirked and let him go.

The merchant arrived home and he had tried to hide the secret from Judai, but (you know Judai) he pried the secret from him and went willingly to the beast's castle.

The beast, who was watching for the merchant's son's arrival from the tallest window, had gotten a nose bleed when he saw how hot the merchant's son was; with his luscious brown hair flowing in the wind from riding "bareback" on his horse. Yes, the beast was now hornier than shit. The beast trying as hard (haha) as he could to not ravish the merchant's son took him in and treated him graciously as his guest.

"Thank you," Judai said as the beast gave him food and drink. "But may I ask your real name?"

"Pardon?"

"Your real name? It can't seriously be 'beast.' I mean, that's so lame!"

"My name is Johan," he said as he used his hand to cup his cheek.

"Ok, p- pervert," Judai said shuttering at his touch. Johan pulled back.

"I am not a pervert!"

"Baka Johan-kun!"

"Was that Japanese? Aren't you French?"

"We're not in France."

"But that doesn't make sense."

After a very weird conversation about their names and nationalities, Judai grew much tried and Johan had noticed this. Without warning, Johan scooped Judai up in his arms and started walking towards the west wing.

"What are you doing? Stop being a gay!" Judai said startled.

"I'm ignoring that last comment. I'm taking you to my room, of course."

"Nani? I thought I had my own room!"

"Don't start that again, and it was in the deal that you sleep in my room!"

"Nuh-uh! I certainly don't remember that in our deal!"

"Well… it was there… and my word is LAW!"

"You pervert!" Judai shouted.

"You sexy boy," Johan mumbled.

"What?" Judai yelled.

"Nothing…"

So Johan and Judai got settled in bed. Johan instantly fell asleep, but Judai became very hot because of Johan's thick fur and Johan's death lock on him. This boy seriously didn't want to let go of the poor Judai. Eventually Judai fell asleep, but morning came quickly and the sun did not like people sleeping when he's around. Judai woke up groggy, to Johan staring at him.

"Good morning, sexy!" Johan said cheerfully.

"Good morning pervert!" said Judai sleepy.

"Come on, let's go get breakfast!" Johan said as he threw Judai on his back and raced down stairs to the dining room where his servants greeted him.

Johan put Judai in that chair right next to his, though Judai looked like he was going to puke from the intensive ride down.

"Good morning master… and guest," said Chazz, the main butler. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Fried Jumbo Shrimp!" they both said at the same time.

Chazz stared at Judai. "Oh god, not another one," Chazz said as he walked away to the kitchen.

"Oh my god! You like fried shrimp too?" said Judai happily.

"Yeah! It's the best!" Johan said happily too.

They soon got their food and ate happily, though Chazz had to watch with a disgusted face. He didn't understand how anyone could eat some much food that wasn't supposed to exist in the country… yet.

Over the course of a couple of days Johan and Judai became best friends, however, at night, Judai started having weird dreams. He dreamt of a beautiful blue haired boy with unusual spiky hair. He had a gorgeous smile too and frills. But Judai couldn't figure out who he was, or why he kept having these mysterious dreams.

One night, Johan asked Judai to marry him, but Judai refused. He wanted to marry the mysterious blue haired boy. And that night Judai had another dream of the blue haired boy. He was crying, but Judai couldn't cheer him up, when he tried to touch him, (get your mind out of the gutter, _that_ doesn't come until later!) he disappeared.

Judai eventually got homesick and begged Johan to return to see his family. Johan refused, but Judai was determined. He asked, begged, and pleaded to Johan to go.

"Johan, please… please. I want to see my family!" requested Judai as he pouted to Johan.

"You may go, however, you must return in exactly one week."

"Oh! Thank you! Thank you!" Judai said as he hugged Johan. Though his fur was hiding it, Johan was blushing madly at the contact.

Judai left on Johan's fastest horse (who was Sho, who was very pissed!) and rode home with an enchanted mirror and ring. The mirror let him see what was going on back at the castle and the ring let him return to the castle in an instant when it was turned three times around his finger.

When Judai returned home, his sisters were surprised to find him well fed and dressed. They became jealous of Judai, and begged him to stay when they heard that he had to return on a certain day. They even put onions in their eyes to make it look like they were weeping. Judai felt like he should leave, but he stayed, not wanting to upset his sisters more.

Judai became depressed and was ridden with guilt about breaking his promise to Johan so he used the mirror to see him back at the castle. Judai blushed madly and looked away from the mirror. He really didn't need to see Johan taking a bath with a plushy that looked EXACTLY like him.

"What a pervert," he mumbled.

Day passed and Judai felt guiltier each day, so he checked on Johan each day (when he wasn't taking a bath). Judai watched as Johan got more and more depressed each day. One day, when Judai checked on Johan, he was horrified to discover that Johan was lying and what seemed like half dead next below Judai's portrait. Judai immediately used the ring to return to Johan.

"Johan!" yelled Judai as he ran towards him. "Please wake up!" Johan did not wake up. Judai cried over his limp body. It was his fault that he wasn't alive now. "I'm so sorry! I love you!" he blurted out. "Please wake up!"

"I'm not dead…," he said slowly. When Judai opened his eyes, he saw the beautiful mysterious blue haired boy. He had transformed of the words of I love you. "Thank you…" he said hugging the crying boy.

"I thought you died…" he said sobbing, hugging him back.

"Actually… I tricked you…" he said smiling, rubbing his hand on the back of his head.

"EH?" exclaimed Judai. "What?"

"Ah, nothing. Let's just stay like this a little longer," he said hugging Judai tighter, one hand slowly going down Judai's back.

"Oi! Pervert!" Judai said as Johan groped his ass. "Hands off! No means no!"

"You know you want it!" Johan said slyly, caressing Judai's butt. A shiver rolled down Judai spine.

"I'll scream rape!'" he said trying to pry Johan off.

"You can't rape the willing!" Johan said before he pressed his lips on Judai's. Judai moaned heavily, parting his mouth slightly, letting Johan enter his mouth.

"Ah… Bedroom…" moaned Judai as Johan started stripping Judai's clothes.

"You're right…"

Unfortunately, this is where the story stops because this is a T rated fan fiction. But there is something I can tell you about what was supposed to happen if I continued this story: Moaning, bed creaking, names being called, and disturbed servants who didn't get any sleep that night.

Bye.


	5. How Yubel helped to win the King

I'm back! I changed the title of the story cause this isn't disney. This story is:

How the Hermit helped to win the King's Daughter

Enjoy~

* * *

When a rich man died, he divided up his property among his three sons when he died; their names were Adam Anderson, Evert Anderson, and Johan Anderson. When the king heard of this, he offered his son, Judai Yuki, to whoever built a ship that traveled over land and sea. The oldest son, Adam, tried first but when an old man came to beg for work, he sent them away.

"I have no time for old-timers that will waste my time with wasted time! I have to marry that beauty of time!" he said aloud.

He had finished the ship and spent all his money, but a terrible storm destroyed it.

Next, the second son, Evert, tried. However when the same old man came begging for work, he shouted:

"Get away from me! You are disgusting and I am pretty! If you touch me then for sure the prince wouldn't be fit for me because I would be ugly!"

He too had finished building the ship, spending all his money, but the ship a'sploded, for the sake of the story.

The youngest, Johan, was determined to build the ship to gain the prince for "personal" purposes, even though he didn't have a lot of money. Since he didn't have a lot of money, he hired everybody, including the old man, who the brothers rejected.

"Thank you kind sir," said the old man.

"You're welcome, I can use all the help I can get!" Johan laugh. "What is your name old man?"

"Yubel."

"Creepy."

"Why yes it is. By the way, to help the story, I'm a demon."

"When are you not?."

"Touché."

When the ship was done, Yubel told to Johan to claim his sexy prince, but probably not in those words.

"Ok, but will you stay with me?"

"I'm not going to hold your hand."

"That's not what I meant."

"Ok, but I want half of everything you get."

"Whatever."

As they traveled, they came across a man who was putting fog in a sack.

"Johan, we should let that man come with us," said Yubel.

"Are you serious? He's obviously crazy!"

"It's do or die."

"That's not a great motto, but fine," Johan said. He cleared his throat then yelled, "Hey, old man! What is your name?"

"Why, my name is Daitokuji," the man said.

"I would like you to come with me-"

"Whoa, too kinky!" said Yubel, sniggering.

"I wasn't finished," hissed Johan. "I want you to come with me to the king's castle!"

"Sure, but as long as I can bring my cat, pharaoh."

Johan sighed and looked at Yubel, who nodded. "Yes, bring your cat."

As they continued walking, they came across a man tearing up trees.

"Johan, we should take this man along with us too."

"Are you serious!" he whispered to him. "We already have one crazy; we don't need two, especially a strong one."

"It would benefit you."

"Fine!" Johan said angrily. "Hey, you over there! What is your name?"

"My name is Kenzan-don. What's it to you?"

"I want you to come-"

"Kinky," Yubel said.

"Shut up, I want you to come with me to the king's castle with me to help me get the prince!"

"Sure, it's lame here-da!"

Johan sighed and they continued on walking. Then they came across a man drinking a stream dry.

"Johan, we should take this man with us."

"'Cause it benefits me?" Johan said in a mocking voice.

"Exactly."

"But this one is dressed like a woman!"

"So?"

Johan groaned. "'Ay you! What is your name?"

"My name is Cronos!"

"I want you to…" Johan looked at Yubel.

"What?" Yubel said slyly.  
"Nothing, Cronos, I want you to come-"

"Kinky."

"Damn it!" Johan yelled at Yubel. "Cronos, I want you to come with me to the king's castle!"

"Can we sing songs from the spice girls while we're on the way there?"

Johan pinched his nose and cursed to himself. "Sure, as long as you'll come with me."

"Kinky."

As they walked farther while singing, they came across a man shooting a quail in the Underworld.

"Johan-"

"I get it now. Excuse me sir! What is your name?"

"My name is Manjoume-Sanda! What do you want, stupid."

"I want you to come with me-"

"Super kinky."

"- to the king's castle."

"What's in it for me?" he demanded.

"Nothing, now let's go."

As they were walking they spotted another man whose steps bestrode (straddled tee hee) an island.

"Don't bother Yubel. Hello sir, what is your name?"

"My name is Ryo. What is your name?"

"Johan. Ryo, I want you to com- go with me to the king's castle."

"Absolutely not," Ryo said.

"Why?"

"Ok, I'll go."

Johan sighed. He didn't want to be with a bunch of weirdoes, but he wanted Prince Judai so bad.

They finally arrived at the king's castle, but King Sho didn't want to give up his son so quickly.

"I refuse to give my son to a man that knows nothing. I order you to deliver a message to the Underworld and be back in an hour," Sho said viciously.

"Alright, I like a challenge," Johan said. The he thought to himself that Manjoume would be of good use to him. "Sir, can I take someone with me?"

"Why not?"

So Johan and Manjoume traveled to the Underworld and delivered the message, but Johan fell asleep from the volcanic fumes.

"Wake up!" Manjoume said as he shot at Johan, waking him up.

Johan and Manjoume went back to earth, shocking the king; he didn't expect them to come back.

"Fine! I want someone to drink my cellar dry in a day!"

"Kinky," Yubel said.

"Hmm, white wine and the spice girls, yummy," Cronos said. And shortly after, the cellar was dry.

"Fine, Johan, you can marry my son, but you can only have as much treasure as one man can carry! Although, it will probably be unfit for my Judai."

Kenzan then picked up and carried off with every last piece of treasure the king had. Johan grabbed Judai and ran, and when the king chased them Daitokuji let the fog from the sack and they escaped.

Once they were home, Johan divided up the treasure with Yubel.

"But, you got the prince too."

So Johan drew his sword to cut the prince in pieces.

"Whoa! What are you doing? I wasn't serious!" Yubel exclaimed. "Keep the treasure crazy! P.S. let me know if you need any more help, I'll be there."

"Ok, thank Yubel."

Yubel left.

"How come I don't talk in this story? I'm the protagonist," Judai said.

"Not in bed you're not."

"What?"

"Not in this story you're not."

"Stop being a gay!"

"Shut up! Now come here, I'm going to ravish you so hard that you-"

THE END


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